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When I was trying to get my coins in order, I realized that I had to have some uncomfortable conversations with a few people in my life.  In order for me to reach my financial goals, it was imperative for me to sit down and discuss those goals with those close to me.  I had to do this for a few reasons.

  1. For them to hold me accountable.
  2. To ensure that they didn’t ask me to do anything that would compromise me reaching my goals.
  3. So that we could be on the same page.

Even though I found it a bit hard to have these conversations, it had to be done.  I realized that some of the people in my life were impacting my ability to get my finances in order.  Now I’m not blaming anyone else for my financial woes, but they made it a bit harder to stick to the game plan. For example, everyone that knows me, knows that I love a good meal. Because of this fact, I would never be able to turn down an invitation to go out to eat and guess what?  Eating out ain’t cheap! That stuff adds up man!  Eating out was literally killing my pockets, yet I didn’t want to say no to my folks.  Eventually, this had to stop if I wanted to get serious about everything. That’s why I had to speak up and let ninjas know that I had a goal that I was trying to reach and that they should stop inviting me out everywhere.  Guess what happened? They understood!

Despite money being so powerful and prominent in our lives, talking about money isn’t always easy.  Money is one of those things that can evoke so many different emotions and can cause you to throw some blows if you allow it to. It’s mind boggling to me how so many people hate to talk about money when pretty much everything we do revolves around it in some way or another.  I get it, it’s hard, but we can’t keep using that as an excuse to sweep the issue under the rug.

I want you to start having conversations about money with those close to you. Are you wondering about what kind of situations would warrant a money conversation?  Here’s a few examples for you:

  • Your line sisters invite you to happy hour and brunch every week and you want to start saving some money.
  • Your spouse is out of control with their spending and need an intervention.
  • Your homegirl keeps asking you to “loan” her some money and she never pays you back.
  • Your boyfriend expects you to pay for every date night.
  • You want your parents to be your accountability partners so you have to come clean about your money issues.

Got it? Good, because now that you’re clear on some reasons why you may need to have these conversations, let’s get into the how:

  1. Man up. This is the first thing that you need to do in order to have these money conversations, you have to man up and stop avoiding the conversation!  Avoidance gets nothing accomplished and actually prevents you from making strides with your financial goals. You cannot worry about what your loved ones may think.  Don’t let fear hold you back from accomplishing this.
  2. Honesty is the best policy. During these conversations, you’ve gotta be honest. If someone is constantly asking you for money or asking you to go out and spend money and you want to talk with them about it, then you have to let them know how you feel.  They will never know that there’s a problem unless your bring it to their attention.
  3. Have goals set going into the convo. You have to be clear on what the purpose of the conversation is and what you want the outcome to be before uttering a word to your loved one.  By getting clear on what you want, you will be able to convey it easier going in.  Setting goals allows you to stick to the issue at hand and stay focused throughout.
  4. Leave your emotions at the door. The less emotions involved, the easier the conversation will be.  Now I know that this is easier said than done because honey, money is a touchy subject.  People have literally lost their lives over money, so yeah it can get heated. I don’t want the conversations you have to go left.
  5. Show empathy.  You have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see where they are coming from.  Actively listen to what they have to contribute to the conversation and see where their head is at.
  6. Watch the tone of your voice and that body language. Like I said, money is a pretty touchy subject and things can get heated.  Make sure that you aren’t giving the wrong signals to the other person through your tone and body language.  Remember that these are key elements of communication and can easily be interpreted as something that you didn’t intend if you aren’t aware.
  7. Break it up into mini convos over time. Talking about money can get overwhelming, so try to have mini conversations with your loved ones over time (if needed) instead of trying to have long, drawn out sessions.  This will also show the other person that you are serious about getting your coins in order.

As long as you are honest, prepared, and level headed going into these conversations, you’ll be completely fine. Your loved ones will be understanding of whatever it is that you come to them with.  Just trust the process; the more you have these honest conversations, the easier they will become over time.  You got this!

Now let’s talk about it.  Do you find it hard to talk to family and friends about money? What do you struggle with specifically?  Sound off in the comments, I wanna hear from you!

P.S. If you thought that this was insanely awesome or made you think about someone that you know, please share this with them!